im always right here when you need me
why didnt you come to me when you were troubled?

i had this picture with me for 4 months in tekong and now everywhere i go

you were my motivation for that period of time and now
i missed you from that day i left bliss
hard times dont last with you in my mind
i just want to see you
i dont care how others judge you or me
im still glad im able to see you frequently
im afraid i might not be able to see you again when bliss close
just wanna make full use of my time with you
as long as you dont feel irritated by my presence

nights and sleep tight jeolyn, sweetdreams

tired..
wish you could hear me calling to you
nights my dear

this feeling is back
as always

i want to hug you
protect you from all the hurtful things in this world

you just dont seem to know how much im afraid of losing you
afraid of bad stuff that mught happen to you
and i cant be there for you

i hate it when people say things ugly to you
like saying things that are disrespectful even though you may be bff
i know you are very open to those kind of topics
but have you ever though for yourself?
you are a girl, you should be treated with respect cos i want to protect you
hope you can feel what im trying to imply here

i always jog around pungol park
hoping to get a chance to see you

i always hope i will not make the first step to jog in the park
but i broke my promise
and i will always see you
so much warmth in my heart and wounds open when i see you

tell me why my feeling for you is like that?
perhaps you will say "its not me, its you"

you know what?
im dying to recieve your sms everyday
im dying to wait for you ask me out
although im in NS now 8am-5pm daily
even if its just a short meet up at town with others to see you
it just hurts to see you are outside with them without me

i feel pointless dragging myself thruout this months
all i get was being hurt again and again
yea..fav quote from my encik "standing on the road like prostitute waiting to get fuck is it?!!!"

what i can do to pull myself out from all this unwanted pain?
i seriously dunno
maybe i just need more work to divert my attention from you
i always hope i will never come back to you
but i always do
the feeling being neglected,forgotten,unwanted,last to come in your mind,watching you walk away is like stepping on my heart again and again..

i know there are many good girls out there
why give up whole forest over a tree
cos what i see in you is what i cant see in other girls
i love the way you look at me
i love the way you listen to me
i love the way you dress up
i love the way you reply me even though it may seem to fu yan me
i love the time we had even though its very short and hurts after that
i love your smile which brighten everyone mood
i love the cute handsigns you created

you look good in anything to me..even with those old specs you had.

you are a gem to me and i cant bear to let you go

what more i can do to let you know how much you mean to me

i still dont understand why
every little thing i do in the past is not acknowledge
but every little thing other people do will be acknowledge
guess im too ugly to be acknowledge

no point stay here waiting eh?
i feel so hurt everyday

i feel dam hurt...dam pain..why must i do this to myself...you dont even know...im not blaming you..its just me...im always have to find out whats happening by myself and no ones tell me unless i ask..always last to know..hurts even more if you tell me you thought i know...

sometimes i feel its pointless to do certain stuff..i cant see what other people see in doing that..conclude that i dont fucking belong there..all these fucking years..ive been wasting my life on them..falling for someone who will never know while im in pain..for fuck?!

last night was terrible...i feel all these while..or years..ima a fucking loser...transparent...maybe i should just rot and fucking die..am i even worthy a second of your life to be concern about?

i hope you wont found this blog..cos its the only place i pour out my feelings for you...