i feel dam hurt...dam pain..why must i do this to myself...you dont even know...im not blaming you..its just me...im always have to find out whats happening by myself and no ones tell me unless i ask..always last to know..hurts even more if you tell me you thought i know...

sometimes i feel its pointless to do certain stuff..i cant see what other people see in doing that..conclude that i dont fucking belong there..all these fucking years..ive been wasting my life on them..falling for someone who will never know while im in pain..for fuck?!

last night was terrible...i feel all these while..or years..ima a fucking loser...transparent...maybe i should just rot and fucking die..am i even worthy a second of your life to be concern about?

i hope you wont found this blog..cos its the only place i pour out my feelings for you...